How To Tell if No Contact is Working

If you have been doing no contact at some point, you probably wondered is it even having any effect or is it working. Here is the thing about no contact rule. People usually hate it when you use it on them. People hate using it and people hate when you use it on them. Because it’s very effective. Because now, they are no longer in control. That’s what it means. The fact that you are able to control yourself and not contact them even though they broke up with you and even if they want to get back with you. They could be stubborn or they could be proud and they don’t want to go back on their word and so they are gonna try to get you.

But we are too smart for that. We’re not going to let it happen. Here are the five signs that they want you to break no contact.

1- They Put up Posts on Social Media That seem to be aimed at you

If you see posts on social media that seemed to be aimed at you, they probably are and they are trying to get a reaction out of you, either good or bad. So that you’ll reach out. Don’t do it.

2- They Show Up in Places Where You and Your Friends Hang Out

Especially if it’s places that they would not normally hang out in. All of a sudden they are there. It’s like, what are they doing here. They live on the other side of a town what are they doing here. So that’s pretty obvious. Although it may not seem at the moment.

You might think, oh well, it’s just a coincident. what a lucky coincident. No, if they are showing up and especially if they look good then they probably had it all pre-planned. Who knows, maybe they even followed you there. They stalked you. That’s number Two.

3- Ex is Contacting Family or Friends

This happened with my friend. When she finally started to do no contact and she didn’t know what to do. So now she had her friends call him, she called his mother, and his mother didn’t want to speak with her. And she didn’t know what was going on. After a couple of months of this, he just had an inkling that okay you know what I’m going to reach out and see what happens. She responded within minutes. And now they are back together.

So if your ex starts contacting your family and friends, then you know that something is up.

4- You Ex Contacts You 

Don’t be Surprised. You are stronger than they thought you would be and they can’t believe that you are actually not chasing after them and you are not contacting them. And that’s why a lot of times, they’ll just say hey, what’s going on? and when you respond then you don’t hear from them.

They were just checking in to see if you respond to them or not. Which meant that no contact was working. That’s why I always say unless, in the first time that they reach out to you, the message is something of substance, you don’t need to reach out.

So don’t be surprised if your ex reaches out. It means that no contact rule is working. But whether you respond or not really depends on what they say to you when they reach out.

5- You are Starting to Feel Much Better

Now the final and last sign, which is not about your ex, it’s about you. You are starting to feel much better. Remember, no contact rule isn’t just about getting your ex back. It’s about you feeling better and pulling away from the situation. Because when you are in it, you can’t really think straight. Because your prefrontal cortex has been hijacked by your more primitive brain which does not think logically.

So that way you don’t think too much and when your logic is hijacked and that’s why when you are out of the relationship. And it takes a while when you have done no contact, and then you look back and you are like, oh my God, what was I thinking. And the fact is, you weren’t thinking. That’s why you often need someone objective (your friends, your family or a dating coach).

By doing no contact, you also help yourself. Because you start to be able to see things more clearly and you may actually realize that, you know what, I really don’t want to be in that relationship. So there you go, five signs no contact rule is working.

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